AsSalamu Alaikum.
Someone asked me to repost this:
This was originally an answer to an anon but I figured it needed a little tweaking and could be used to share with others insha’Allah:
Humans are by nature inherently flawed, so it’s really important for us to understand how to make Tawbah or Repentance.
One of Allah (SWT)’s beautiful names is At-Tawwab, or the one who accepts repentance of others. The Prophet (SAW) said: “Men by nature are sinful, and the best of these sinful people are those who keep repenting”. It is reported that the Prophet (SAW) himself used to ask for repentance at least 100 times a day, and he was a model human being in behavior, so imagine how important it is for us to repent! According to Abu Bakr (RA), the Prophet (SAW) said that “There isn’t a man who, when he commits a sin, rises, makes ablution and offers two rakats of prayers, but Allah forgives his sins”.
Feelings of remorse and guilt are natural reflections of sinning, if the person who has sinned has a conscious which is alive.
After committing a sin, a person who fears Allah and gives high respect to Him would feel a sense of despondency and despair thinking, “How will God forgive me for this sin?” However, it is noteworthy that despairing of God’s mercy is in itself one of the major sins in Islam for God is ever Merciful, ever Forgiving.
As He says in the Qur’an:
“Do not despair of God’s mercy; He will forgive you of all your sins”.Qur’an (39:53).
In another verse, Allah says:
“And He wishes to forgive you” Qur’an (4:146).
Remember that there are powerful urges or longings known as “ba’ith” and because of these we commit sins. Once a sin is committed, Tawbah must be made. Allah (SWT) gives us multiple opportunities to repent and cleanse our soul of sins some which being in Ramadan, fasting, tahajjud, etc.
So how do we repent? Repentance consists of both spiritual and physical actions. There are several conditions for repentance; first and foremost, you have to clearly intend that your repentance is for the sake of Allah. Then you have to make the intention to not do the bad deed again. After your internal intention is complete, the next part of repentance is a series of physical actions. First, you need to stop doing the bad deed immediately. Next, you should make wudu, as it is reported that every time we make wudu, our sins are washed away. Then you should pray two rakats of nafl prayer. After prayer, make duaa asking Allah (SWT) for forgiveness. Some notable examples of such duaa are (however you can say whatever’s in your heart):
1) Astagfirullah wa atoobu ilayh – I seek the forgiveness of Allah and repent to Him
2) Allahumma inna afuwwun tuhibbul afwa fa’fu anni – Oh Allah! You are Forgiving and love forgiveness so forgive me!
3) Rabbanna faghfir lana dhunoobana wa kaffir anna sayyiatina wa tawaffana ma’al abrar- Our Lord! Forgive us our sins and efface our bad deeds and take our souls in the company of the righteous
4) Rabbana thalamnaa anfusanaa wa illam taghfir lanaa wa tar hamnaa lanakoo nunna meen al khasireen - Our Lord! We have sinned against ourselves and unless You grant us forgiveness and bestow Your mercy upon us, we shall most certainly be lost.
If we repent often, we build Taqwa, or fear of God. Our fear of His presence causes us to repent. So basically this is a chicken or the egg situation. But at the end of the day, we are reaffirming our Taqwa when we sincerely repent, which inevitably causes us to stay away from committing the same sin.
Advice in maintaining the cleanse state and not returning to the sin, we should calm our longings by listening to Quran. We should also surround ourselves with righteous people and strive to be like them.
When you’ve truly repented, it should motivate you to move forward and be a better Muslim, however if you repent with the intention to just return to it, don’t expect anything in your nature to change.
You can find many more duaa in the Qur’an, especially in Surat Ali-Imran regarding forgiveness. InshaAllah if we approach tawbah with the appropriate intention and try your best to never repeat the inappropriate actions, Allah (SWT) will accept our repentance! Ameen :)
If you’ve sinned against a human being you can find information, here.